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Lyrics:

Small cell grows rapid, early metastatic
To brain, liver, bone homie almost automatic
MYC proto-oncogene, blasted
A bad oat from the neuroendocrine fabric
Chromogranin A, staining thematic
Undifferentiated, undiplomatic
With paraneoplastic syndromes, three classic:
SIADH – hyponatremic, lack of salt in the blood, wreaking havoc
(oh yes) and
Cushingoid with the enigmatic excess
adrenocorticotropic hormone
High stress, moon face, putting on weight, buffalo hump habit
Lambert-Eaton proximal muscle weakness that be
improving with gymnastics
Autoantibodies attacking the presynaptic
voltage-gated calcium channel release of acetylcholine
so levels go POOF, vanish like magic

Central lung cancers, start with the S sound
Small and squamous cells love those who blow smoke around
If the patient got cough, hemoptysis, weight loss, breathing problems
Get the bronchoscope
Cough, hemoptysis, weight loss, breathing problems
Get the bronchoscope

Squamous cell carcinoma on the warpath
producing keratin pearls on the histopath
with desmosomes bridging intercellular gaps
arising from the epithelial lining of the bronchus mass
bringing the wrath
Hypercalcemia from that imposter PTH
resembling peptide psychopath
Central necrosis to cavitation aftermath

Adenocarcinoma principally parks in the peripheral lung
prefers women and prominent among non-smokers
it’s lung primary number one
ALK, EGFR, and KRAS activating mutations
Digital clubbing, hypertrophic osteoarthropathy associations
lepidic growth pattern slithering between and thickening the alveolar septum
Histology where tall communal glandular pattern cells contain staining for the mucin

Smokers with large cell
get overwhelmed with peripheral tumors
of pleomorphic giant cells
where differentiation is hard to tell
Highly anaplastic, with a gynecomastic spell
Poor prognosis, so work with urgency
Just cut it out, treat that lesion with surgery
If advanced use chemo-radiation therapy
‘cuz when it comes to kicking cancer we don’t show it no mercy

Central lung cancers, start with the S sound
Small and squamous cells love those who blow smoke around
If the patient got cough, hemoptysis, weight loss, breathing problems
Get the bronchoscope
Cough, hemoptysis, weight loss, breathing problem
Get the bronchoscope

Music arranged and performed by Neil Bobenhouse, Student Doctor at Burrell College of Osteopathic Medicine

Follow Neil Bobenhouse on YouTube and Twitter

Art and Animation by Jorge Muniz, PA-C (Medcomic)